The Game of Life

2006-08-09T00:43:00.000-04:00

The Power of Grace and Effortlessness

2006-03-13T13:20:00.000-05:00

It's been many months since my last post. The entrepreneurial journey I find myself on continues to be very challenging and at times downright difficult. Along the way, I have become an expert at devising creative solutions to impossible problems.

Impossible problems. And in nearly every case, besides having to find the courage to face the problem vs. Succumb to the instinct of running away from it or hoping it'll somehow go away on it's own accord, I've found that solving them requires ease and grace.

What the hell does that mean? In Eastern philosophy, by way of the famed "I Ching," there is a hexagram in the I Ching entitled: "PO." The chinese symbol for PO roughly translates in English to the word "Collapse." Essentially, the superior man, when confronted with a seemingly impossible, critical and possibly fatal life situation, his salvation requires him to do nothing. To not strive, not force, not impart one's will to the situation, but instead face it with a "stillness" of purpose and being.

Weird, huh? Yeah, I used to think so, but often times than not, this is the correct strategy.

It is the difference between being "forceful" and being in a state of "power." To confront conflict with calm and grace isn't a new thing. Ghandi, Martin Luther King and others have frequently confronted crisis in this matter.

So the lesson for me this year is to invoke the state of power vs trying to force the outcome I'm seeking.

On a lighter note...

This weekend, I found an enjoyable way to practice grace and effortlessness while under extreme pressure. I'm a pool-junky (before you ask: No, I don't play for money). Anyway, there are two guys I play on a regular basis, one's a strong, near-pro level player, the other a guy whose been playing for over 20 years.

Before this weekend, I would regularly lose about 80% of the matches I'd play against them. And no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much of my "will" I attempted to impart on the game-the outcome was always the same. The more I wanted the win, the harder I shot and the more risks I took.

The key to being great at something comes from one's ability to be consistent, so every weekend, these guys would destroy me with their consistency.

Well, this weekend, I finally got it--it isn't about winning, it's about finding the joy in whatever you are doing while at the same time being grateful for the experience, win or lose. Suddenly, I'm not struggling: ball after ball flow into the pocket and the cue ball goes exactly where I envision it should go. I won 95% of the games I played, and I stayed in this effortlessness state for 6 hours. And with grace and effortless, I was able to achieve complete control over the outcome-by eliminating my attachment to it. I didn't care whether I won or lost and my reward for this was to win nearly everything...

This is the state I seek to achieve in every area of my life. Grace...

Success One Inch at a Time?

2005-12-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

On more than one occasion, I've been known to "swing for the fences." As far as I'm concerned, achieving a small goal and achieving a very large goal--well, it's the same work, the same process. I figure: Hell, you might say "Super-size me. I'll take the larger, more interesting goal please."

I've been doing this my whole life, but there is a cost to always hunting big game. When failing to get the big results you're looking for-EVERYBODY knows about it. What's interesting is that while the work and the process of achieving what you want, big or small is exactly the same, so are the number of so called "failures" or "challenges" or "setbacks" that occur.

And while the mechanics of getting what you want are the same-it doesn't feel the same, does it?

This is why most people shoot for the small stuff--if they fail to get it, most people aren't going to know about it, so it's safe to try for it. In essence, when doing this, they're saying: "Well, just in case I don't make it, at least it's something I can manage emotionally and my friends won't crucify me for failing, therefore there's nothing to lose: might as well try..."

It's a bad strategy, it usually doesn't work and I can see the appeal of doing it-no emotional downside. Damn, it's tempting. It does get old having family look at you funny- you just know they are wondering: "Wonder what cacamamie scheme Chris is working on now?" Maybe I'm just stubborn, but I can't help myself.

I don't know any other way to achieve what I want, that's legal anyway. I figure as long as I deal with the day to day stuff, solving or avoiding problems as they occur, I will eventually "make it." Yeah, it's obsessive and oh well, it is what it is.

Why this post? Hmm... I was assessing my financial net worth (negative at the moment), negotiating with creditors and scrambling to find money to cover next months bills, and found myself asking: Is it worth it?

So I dug a little deeper. I re-read some of my old success journals, place a few calls with a couple of old friends/fellow risktakers, and took a fresh look at where I am and where I could be next year:

Assuming we get capital in the business, my financial problems are instantly resolved and I make it (wealthy).

If we don't get capital, I land a contract job in January and I'll probably be okay in about 5 to 10 years.

So is it worth it? At the end of the day, the answer had better be "yeah," although the jury's still out on this one.

What about succeeding one inch at a time? It sounds risky as hell. Those of you who practice this method and have succeeded, please post your comments. It's probably a smart tactic, although I only use it when solving a problem. Let us know. ~C

Old friends never need to explain...

2005-12-15T11:39:00.000-05:00

"Old friends never need to explain and we just pick up from where we left off..."

That's what a very good friend of mine from Columbia by-way-of-Florida said to me after I contacted him recently.

For whatever reason, we just simply stopped communicating.
But I felt it was time to make the contact
and it was a pleasant experience for both of us...

Some time ago, I received some valuable advice: "When you come into this world, if you're lucky, you start off with family, and you don't get to choose your family--it is what it is. But every person on earth has the power to choose who they would call 'friend.' Choose your friends with care..."

I've heeded this advice ever since and I am especially fortunate to have more than one "good old friend" in my life.

Ironically, two nights ago I had the very unpleasant task of having to ask my closest friends for a loan as an "insurance policy" for January, in case there are delays in funding or finding a temporary income source. It was unpleasant, because my having to make the request is the result of a mistake that should have been avoided.

This past Summer, I moved towards yet another startup company, Swift 1 Financial, a startup company I'm helping to create. The decision was important, powerful, but flawed. I didn't take into consideration the "X" factor. The X factor in this case was losing months to investors that at the last minute elected not to invest.

I violated one of my rules: "Always have a Plan B, no matter what." I never developed a Plan B in this case. Had I done so, I would have maintained my ability to generate income the whole time, so now what could have simply been an inconvenience during the summer, has become a problem and if it isn't resolved, it turns into crisis.

It's best to address inconveniences quickly,
but even problems are solvable.
There's no telling how things will turn out
when faced with a crisis. Fortunately, I'm not there quite yet...

So, I find myself having to borrow money from a close friend, and even this late in the game, I'm determined to not need it.

For me, this week is all about managing my emotions (keeping them in check), avoiding that panic, sick feeling that occurs when feeling doomed, and doing whatever it takes to solve the problem...

This week is all about INTENTIONS. It's not an accident I put Dr. Dyer's lecture on my blog. It's time to create; time to be the mad-scientist and draw power from the holidays and create my own set of miracles.

What miracles are you committed to creating in your life right now? For others? What "gifts" of love will you give to those you care about?

2005-12-12T12:00:00.000-05:00

2005-12-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

The Power of Affirmations

2005-12-12T10:30:00.000-05:00

Affirmations... What are they? Affirmations are powerful statements, designed to stimulate and align the subconscious mind to create what you want. Affirmations are commands to the brain. They are written in the present tense (the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, which is very cool, if you know how to take advantage of this.

Essentially, they are mini-programs for the brain. When creating your affirmation, use words like: "I am," "I have," "I see," "I believe," "grateful," "It is," "They are," "always." The other key ingredient to affirmations is repetition: say them out loud or silently upon waking, before going to bed, after great sex (kidding? Hmm....) and throughout the day. Here's an affirmation I'm currently focusing on:

I am what I am,
And I am worthy of the abundance
that is the universe
and all that is in it, including me.

I am detached from all outcomes
as I am a Master of Infinite Patience.
I am a person of Infinite Patience,
one who is certain of the outcome and
one who can afford to wait and receive
without anxiety.

I have all the time that I need
and I am certain of the outcome,
so I will allow it to present itself
to me as it will, in due time,

as I have learned
to relax in peace and knowing.

Power vs. Force

2005-12-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

In the United States, and in most developed nations, there is an intense obsession with the pursuit of and the acquisition of Power. Most individuals who crave this power, seek to obtain it through the use of Force.

In their minds, "Power" equals strength, control, respect, relevance, purpose, identity and wealth (riches). And "Force" is exercised and found in many forms: Violence, Manipulation, Deception, Destruction, Leverage (i.e. "Bribery and blackmail"), Crime, and Punishment, just to name a few.

But true power in the purest form, can only be achieved through compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, purpose, generosity and love. It is at best temporary and ultimately destroys the one seeking it.

When I reflect on the last decade of my life, I see a life where I somehow attracted three types of people. One group, were individuals who for one reason or another were "incomplete" and were attracted to my energy, wanting it for themselves ("drain people"). Another group, were individuals who have evolved and recognize this potential in me and thus committed to help nurture this in me (these people are still in my life today). And the last, are people who sought to exploit my power and manipulate it to their needs.

This last group, I have cut away from my life (funny enough, these people are still pursuing me today, because it takes a lot of inner strength to escape what would have destroyed you, and it has made their interest in me stronger).

It's funny: I can remember the very first time I ran into someone who sought the dark side of power. His name was Assan Kimara, and he is from Senegal, West Africa. Assan played a role in my parent's breakup and is a master at insinuating himself in people's lives and manipulating their emotions to his end. This was a very dangerous and powerful man, and he took an unnatural interest in me for as long as I've known him.

You see, I had the great misfortune of being the "first son" of my parents, and Assan used my brother and I to gain leverage with my parents. It's a long story-I'll spare you, let's just say he was successful in breaking my mother's heart and betraying my father.

I remember one time Assan demonstrated his power-during a Monopoly game of all things. We were playing, all adults and me, the sole child in the game. This guy accurately predicted not only what he would roll and buy, but what others would roll and buy. People in the game saw this as boastful jousting, but when his predictions were borne out, it turned to amazement and then something else.

Some part of me sensed it was a lesson, a demonstration of power on my behalf. I was always apprehensive when in his presence and thinking back on it, he probably knew this. For me, he was a dangerous and interesting person, one I chose to study, not worship. Everyone else was mesmerized-I was simply curious, and that made me a target...

Interesting enough, on my 16th birthday, just five years later, I played a game of Monopoly in just the same way he did: accurately predicting rolls, and purchases. I won, just as he did (my friends never played Monopoly with me again :(

Yeah, Assan, was the very first dark soul I encountered. Perhaps I'll share the story of how he tried to separate me from my family by having me spend a year with him in Senegal.

Regardless, I'm very fortunate to have come out of that period of my life unharmed, and since have had the great fortune of having some of the most generous soulful, spiritual people nurture me along the way. It is to these individuals I dedicate the following poem:

Shimmering with brilliance,
she gently tugs, caresses,
intoxicates one's very being.

She races across the path of the living,
leaving the spirits encountered,
trembling in her wake

All at once,
she excites the weak,
making one feel
as though all is possible

She frightens the strong,
making them drunk with sudden doubt,
as to the purpose of one's life

Hunters can not escape her beauty
Prey become vigorous in her wake
And evil becomes impotent

Like water, she cools and nourishes all who partake of her
Like the sun, she blinds all who dare attempt to understand her
Like the glowing embers of wood and fire,
she reminds us that simplicity can be comforting

She travels invisibly,
touching all those who despair
At the moment of death, like at birth,
she disguises herself, briefly, as peace

One can travel an entire lifetime
and be touched by her many times,
yet, still not know of her existence

She is patient, always waiting for one
to see that, indeed, she has always been there,
always been close by your side

She resides within the most empty of souls
She encompasses all living beings

One is truly wealthy
if one recognizes her presence
All is available to those who envision her

She is Love.

~ Lee Christopher Grant, 1992

Do not go gently into the night...

2005-12-10T12:16:00.000-05:00

The visions are coming fast and furious now...Unwanted elements from the past and the present, being gracious enough to die right before my very heart. Nearly free, awaiting...awaiting things and experiences that resonate strongly with me and that are determined to bring me joy and pleasure. Making room for a most welcome guest in the house that is MY LIFE..

There is a woman from my past that now freely roams the dreamtime. Don't know what it means if anything-the purpose of our relationship- to save one another's life, was achieved and we now live completely different lives. I must admit, I have near burning curiosity as to how she is what she is doing and there is fear that I'll discover her life has been difficult. That would break my heart to know this. For me, it is a Pandora's box; there are things in this world best left unexplored, left alone. Ever fiber in my being tells me this qualifies.

I am that man, standing on the platform awaiting destiny's train, having finally gotten my "ticket" to board, paying the price of release and surrender...Yet there is one thing from the past I want to go back for, and to do so, means to lose my seat. Ludicrous. Unnerving. Sad...

Sad, because the person I knew and the person I was are dead; only the memories remain...And this is the hardest thing to cope with: to know that as people grow, some things remain and most things die. It is so odd...

Recently, my Mother spent 3 months in the hospital, having literally starved and drank herself to death. It was a gradual thing, and since her retirement earlier this year, no family member was privy to this. Being 62 and near death, it is a medical miracle she survived.

I remember in the early days of her hospital stay, looking at her and thinking "Who is this person? Where did the woman I knew as my Mother go?" And then I realized that the woman I knew as Mom left this world years ago and that what laid before me now was that 19-year old teenaged girl who recently lost the most important person on earth to her-her mother, and I could see the small part in her, struggling trying to decide if she wanted to leave and be with her mother or stay in this world a little longer. And I asked her: "Do you want to stay here? To continue living?" and her eyes locked onto mine, and for a brief moment I saw Her, and she gave it some thought, then replied: "Yes....yes...I...I think so...Maybe...maybe for a little while longer..." and I then pledged to her that we would do everything within our power to give her that chance. And that was when I knew, yesterday is forever gone and all of us only have right now and if we are especially blessed, the promise of a tomorrow or two...

My mother, the woman I knew, who knew me as only a parent raising a child could now, no longer travels the Earth. Einstein, Galileo and others they all missed it. We already time travel, and have been doing this for as long as man has experienced dreaming. My mother is living proof, having taken a trip all the way back to her years as a young woman...

Get on the train, chest up, shoulders square, eyes forward, embrace today. Tomorrow isn't here yet and yesterday was a lifetime ago...

"Our deepest fears is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking,
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were all meant to shine as children do.
It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others." -Mary Ann Williamson

Love and Forgiveness

2005-12-09T17:33:00.000-05:00

As I go through this creative destruction, making room for the wealth and abundance that is eager to flow into my life, I have sought the counsel of several people I consider mentors: Oprah Winfrey, Stephen Covey, Stephen Pollan, Deepak Chopra, Don Miguel Ruiz, Carlos Castaneda and my Grandfather.

Each, at various points in my life have nurtured me, have shaped my thinking and help me discover my power and wisdom. And as I call on them, reflecting on where my life is now and soon to be, all respond back to me to say simply: "Love and Forgive."

When afraid, breathe. When weak, love. When in doubt, trust. And when angry, forgive.

Despite the physical difficulties of my life right now, mentally, spiritually and emotionally I am as strong as I've ever been. This strength I can feel at the core of my being, and it's intensity can be seen physically. I am losing weight, gaining energy and getting physically strong from the core outward.

In some ways I'm older than my years and in other ways I am still that developing child whose spirit and imagination hasn't been killed off by the grind of life.

Recently, I've found a lot of value in practicing forgiveness, mainly with people that have directly or indirectly harmed me in some ways. I came to this naturally, because I haven't the energy or the interest any more in carry the burden of the past, so I am quick to forgive and let go because I'm making room for the fantastic things that are flying into my life.

It is shocking to the recipients of this forgiveness, yet I don't bother to explain why. I'm operating on a completely different level now and to be here I simply can't carry the past with me-and I'm really okay with that.

The connection that I had with Vicki years ago has suddenly returned. Somehow I know that she is happy and now has a daughter as well as a son. The gift of being aware of others this way has returned--I thought it was lost forever. I am amazed and grateful it has been returned to me. And as love and forgiveness embraces me, I am forever changed and blessed by it.

I am, once again--Alive

Seeing the Light by Believing in it

2005-12-09T16:04:00.000-05:00

Hmm...

Nearing the end of this very trying and difficult journey. What fuels me these days is my unwavering, unshakable belief that the right things will happen. That my relentless focus on what I want to happen in My Life will in fact-happen.

For me the hardest part of my day these days is to PERSIST in managing my emotions and imagination, to avoid Despair and Panic and instead redirect, refocus...refocus on the most powerful images and emotions to continue moving and manifesting into my life what I want.

In the last decade, this time of year has always been a time of major change and transformation. As many times as I've experienced this, it's never comfortable and it isn't something you can get use to.

Part of what sustains me is the knowing that this will be the last time I will have to experience such tremendous financial difficulty and that from next year forward, I will experience tremendous wealth and opportunity. And because I am grateful, even now, I believe this is an experience I will never forget and thus may never repeat.

"Seeing the Light" requires belief. For me to get clear of what seems to be an insurmountable crisis, requires belief and focus.

A wise man once said: "Your life is entirely on you. What you have in your mind is what will shape you and determine your future. There is no living without Love and Forgiveness."

Risk Taking 101: Walking in the Dark Part II

2005-12-03T16:47:00.000-05:00

It's been a wild ride, entrepreneurially speaking. I was just speaking with my partner in Atlanta about the journey I'm on; the difficulties in raising the capital for the mortgage company startup.

What I realized was this time was all about "Controlled Destruction." Essentially, sometimes when you're going for something fantastically huge, pursuing a dream or goal that is so big that it takes everything you have to achieve it--Sometimes, you have to risk it all to get it.

Financially speaking, I've actually had to go to "zero," before I could achieve the goal.

I mean crazy things, delays, unbelievable stretches of bad luck have occured. And having to just go on instinct for the last 90 days, trusting in pure faith and belief that it is going to all work out without actually knowing how--it's been difficult.

Well, looks as though my efforts and commitment is going to pay off. We are 48 hours away from getting confirmation of investment in our startup- $5,000,000 worth. Just in the nick of time. Zero to Flush in the blink of an eye. Debt-free by February 1st, millionaire by August 1st. Excellent...

Yet, it's just beginning. Making up for wasting a decade screwing around with the wrong people, pursuing the wrong things and not being smart with my money...

Just in the nick of time. Very grateful for the second chance--I won't waste it...

Risk Taking 101: Walking In the Dark

2005-11-25T01:01:00.001-05:00

Well...Along with working on getting the weight off, I'm in the middle of deconstructing my professional life as well. This Summer, I walked away from a couple of small businesses that were headed no where, and joined yet another startup. The difference with this new group; I have ownership, and I've had a say in how the business is to be put together.

Right now, we are in the process of raising capital to launch what we hope to be a billion-dollar business in 4 years. It's hard: Everyone's tapped out; bank accounts near zero just as we head into the holiday season, but if we get funded, we are all wealthy beginning next year. In the meantime, we are well into "plan b," having invested five grand in marketing to generate enough year-end business to carry all of us financially until funding comes through.

Touch n' go, just in the nick o' time kindof stuff. All of us have had to call in favors to try to get through this dark and difficult time. Meanwhile, the entire world's been calling us, offering us crappy job "offers," stuff designed to throw us off course... It's like the universe is testing our comittment and resolve. We're all declining, and ignoring the "noise," realizing that if the world's knocking on our doors--we must be very close...

I've decided: This will be the last business I'm going to build. Build it. Get wealthy, then just finish out my life as an investor and advisor of others who are driven enough to do this.

Yeah, we're definitely pulling out all the stops now. Just last week, I've approached people from Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Singapore and India seeking help with funding. We initially approached American-born investors, but our sense is that the business opportunity is "too big" and it scares them. Meanwhile, we are getting tremendous interest from our foreign-born neighbors-I mean, it's like night and day in comparison. Wish we had thought of it months ago, but it is what it is...

Looking forward to ending the year strong, but I'll take ending the year. Next year everything breaks out and breaks big and this sucky year will be a distant memory.

As for the weight project: I'm losing weight and I'm gaining internal strength. The core feels strong: I don't sleep as heavy as I used to, climbing stairs no longer ends with me being out of breath. On my way and making progress, though it will probably be next summer before I reach my final target fitness, but I'll get there...

Eliminating Financial Worry

2005-10-10T17:48:00.000-04:00

Like it or not, if you're playing the game of life, part of the price of admission requires you to experience, and successfully deal with, financial pressure.

What is "financial pressure?" Financial pressure is simply the experience of feeling some level of discomfort around a decision or circumstance involving money.

There are thousands of ways people may respond to financial pressure. For some, it's very physical: sweaty palms, quickness of breath, a feeling of being "trapped" or "paralyzed." For others, it's emotional: it frightens, it angers, it irritates, it depresses. And for still others, it's psychological: moments of financial pressure are used by the conscious mind to "justify" failing to grow, failing to pursue what you want, failing to believe abundance or success or wealth is even meant for you.

Complete this sentence: "When I feel under financial pressure I..."

Now, repeat the question to yourself, and then add: "But now I choose to respond differently. Now, when I feel myself under financial pressure, I know it's temporary and I'm only one step away from getting past it."

Here's an example:

"When I feel myself under financial pressure, I immediately become disappointed that it's happening again. I begin to feel depressed about it, then I get pissed off, and I make it worse by feeling hopeless. While feeling depressed, angry and consumed by a sense of hopelessness, I tend to make a series of really bad, impulse decisions, usually around money. This makes the pressure even worse. Of course, now I'm in a bad mood, and everything around me seems miserable, and even if there were opportunities that could eliminate the pressure, they are invisible to me in this poor state I'm in."

Here's the proactive response:

"Now I choose to respond differently. Now, when I feel myself under financial pressure, I know it's temporary and I'm only one step away from getting past it. And that step is to decide that I am in control, that I will face whatever is causing this pressure and commit to addressing and eliminating it from my life right now."

Sure. It seems simple. But try forcing yourself to say those words in the heat of the worry and notice the impact on your heart rate.

Another way of eliminating the feeling of being under financial pressure is to change the meaning of the experience.

Let's say that you find yourself constantly late in paying your bills. Even though you have money to pay them, you are so fearful of "spending" the money, that you delay doing so until the very last minute. In delaying the "pain" you have around spending money, you cause a chain-reaction: You forget to pay a bill ("I didn't see it"), which triggers penalties - calls to your work or home (as you're sitting down to dinner), late fees, correspondence from the creditor asking for payment causing you to not want to go to your mailbox. Plus, there's the added bonus of you spending your precious time thinking (read: Worrying) about the bill, which only increases as time passes.

But there's another way...

Instead of reacting to the fact that you have bills piling up, simply pay them. If you're going to be late on one or two, call them and tell them so. 9 times out of 10, they will work with you, notate the file and you'll never hear from them again, because they know you are intending to pay. That's all they care about. Businesses correspond and call you when you haven't met your obligation to them simply to find out whether you will honor your debt. That is all a bill is: it's just communication, it's just an inquiry. Your life doesn't have to feel as though it's in jeopardy from receiving communication - so change your thinking around bills, paying bills, not paying bills and you will avoid the pressure altogether.

~Chris