The Power of Grace and Effortlessness

It's been many months since my last post. The entrepreneurial journey I find myself on continues to be very challenging and at times downright difficult. Along the way, I have become an expert at devising creative solutions to impossible problems.

Impossible problems. And in nearly every case, besides having to find the courage to face the problem vs. Succumb to the instinct of running away from it or hoping it'll somehow go away on it's own accord, I've found that solving them requires ease and grace.

What the hell does that mean? In Eastern philosophy, by way of the famed "I Ching," there is a hexagram in the I Ching entitled: "PO." The chinese symbol for PO roughly translates in English to the word "Collapse." Essentially, the superior man, when confronted with a seemingly impossible, critical and possibly fatal life situation, his salvation requires him to do nothing. To not strive, not force, not impart one's will to the situation, but instead face it with a "stillness" of purpose and being.

Weird, huh? Yeah, I used to think so, but often times than not, this is the correct strategy.

It is the difference between being "forceful" and being in a state of "power." To confront conflict with calm and grace isn't a new thing. Ghandi, Martin Luther King and others have frequently confronted crisis in this matter.

So the lesson for me this year is to invoke the state of power vs trying to force the outcome I'm seeking.

On a lighter note...

This weekend, I found an enjoyable way to practice grace and effortlessness while under extreme pressure. I'm a pool-junky (before you ask: No, I don't play for money). Anyway, there are two guys I play on a regular basis, one's a strong, near-pro level player, the other a guy whose been playing for over 20 years.

Before this weekend, I would regularly lose about 80% of the matches I'd play against them. And no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much of my "will" I attempted to impart on the game-the outcome was always the same. The more I wanted the win, the harder I shot and the more risks I took.

The key to being great at something comes from one's ability to be consistent, so every weekend, these guys would destroy me with their consistency.

Well, this weekend, I finally got it--it isn't about winning, it's about finding the joy in whatever you are doing while at the same time being grateful for the experience, win or lose. Suddenly, I'm not struggling: ball after ball flow into the pocket and the cue ball goes exactly where I envision it should go. I won 95% of the games I played, and I stayed in this effortlessness state for 6 hours. And with grace and effortless, I was able to achieve complete control over the outcome-by eliminating my attachment to it. I didn't care whether I won or lost and my reward for this was to win nearly everything...

This is the state I seek to achieve in every area of my life. Grace...

Success One Inch at a Time?

On more than one occasion, I've been known to "swing for the fences." As far as I'm concerned, achieving a small goal and achieving a very large goal--well, it's the same work, the same process. I figure: Hell, you might say "Super-size me. I'll take the larger, more interesting goal please."

I've been doing this my whole life, but there is a cost to always hunting big game. When failing to get the big results you're looking for-EVERYBODY knows about it. What's interesting is that while the work and the process of achieving what you want, big or small is exactly the same, so are the number of so called "failures" or "challenges" or "setbacks" that occur.

And while the mechanics of getting what you want are the same-it doesn't feel the same, does it?

This is why most people shoot for the small stuff--if they fail to get it, most people aren't going to know about it, so it's safe to try for it. In essence, when doing this, they're saying: "Well, just in case I don't make it, at least it's something I can manage emotionally and my friends won't crucify me for failing, therefore there's nothing to lose: might as well try..."

It's a bad strategy, it usually doesn't work and I can see the appeal of doing it-no emotional downside. Damn, it's tempting. It does get old having family look at you funny- you just know they are wondering: "Wonder what cacamamie scheme Chris is working on now?" Maybe I'm just stubborn, but I can't help myself.

I don't know any other way to achieve what I want, that's legal anyway. I figure as long as I deal with the day to day stuff, solving or avoiding problems as they occur, I will eventually "make it." Yeah, it's obsessive and oh well, it is what it is.

Why this post? Hmm... I was assessing my financial net worth (negative at the moment), negotiating with creditors and scrambling to find money to cover next months bills, and found myself asking: Is it worth it?

So I dug a little deeper. I re-read some of my old success journals, place a few calls with a couple of old friends/fellow risktakers, and took a fresh look at where I am and where I could be next year:

Assuming we get capital in the business, my financial problems are instantly resolved and I make it (wealthy).

If we don't get capital, I land a contract job in January and I'll probably be okay in about 5 to 10 years.

So is it worth it? At the end of the day, the answer had better be "yeah," although the jury's still out on this one.

What about succeeding one inch at a time? It sounds risky as hell. Those of you who practice this method and have succeeded, please post your comments. It's probably a smart tactic, although I only use it when solving a problem. Let us know. ~C

Old friends never need to explain...

"Old friends never need to explain and we just pick up from where we left off..."

That's what a very good friend of mine from Columbia by-way-of-Florida said to me after I contacted him recently.

For whatever reason, we just simply stopped communicating.
But I felt it was time to make the contact
and it was a pleasant experience for both of us...

Some time ago, I received some valuable advice: "When you come into this world, if you're lucky, you start off with family, and you don't get to choose your family--it is what it is. But every person on earth has the power to choose who they would call 'friend.' Choose your friends with care..."

I've heeded this advice ever since and I am especially fortunate to have more than one "good old friend" in my life.

Ironically, two nights ago I had the very unpleasant task of having to ask my closest friends for a loan as an "insurance policy" for January, in case there are delays in funding or finding a temporary income source. It was unpleasant, because my having to make the request is the result of a mistake that should have been avoided.

This past Summer, I moved towards yet another startup company, Swift 1 Financial, a startup company I'm helping to create. The decision was important, powerful, but flawed. I didn't take into consideration the "X" factor. The X factor in this case was losing months to investors that at the last minute elected not to invest.

I violated one of my rules: "Always have a Plan B, no matter what." I never developed a Plan B in this case. Had I done so, I would have maintained my ability to generate income the whole time, so now what could have simply been an inconvenience during the summer, has become a problem and if it isn't resolved, it turns into crisis.

It's best to address inconveniences quickly,
but even problems are solvable.
There's no telling how things will turn out
when faced with a crisis. Fortunately, I'm not there quite yet...

So, I find myself having to borrow money from a close friend, and even this late in the game, I'm determined to not need it.

For me, this week is all about managing my emotions (keeping them in check), avoiding that panic, sick feeling that occurs when feeling doomed, and doing whatever it takes to solve the problem...

This week is all about INTENTIONS. It's not an accident I put Dr. Dyer's lecture on my blog. It's time to create; time to be the mad-scientist and draw power from the holidays and create my own set of miracles.

What miracles are you committed to creating in your life right now? For others? What "gifts" of love will you give to those you care about?

The Power of Affirmations

Affirmations... What are they? Affirmations are powerful statements, designed to stimulate and align the subconscious mind to create what you want. Affirmations are commands to the brain. They are written in the present tense (the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, which is very cool, if you know how to take advantage of this.

Essentially, they are mini-programs for the brain. When creating your affirmation, use words like: "I am," "I have," "I see," "I believe," "grateful," "It is," "They are," "always." The other key ingredient to affirmations is repetition: say them out loud or silently upon waking, before going to bed, after great sex (kidding? Hmm....) and throughout the day. Here's an affirmation I'm currently focusing on:

I am what I am,
And I am worthy of the abundance
that is the universe
and all that is in it, including me.

I am detached from all outcomes
as I am a Master of Infinite Patience.
I am a person of Infinite Patience,
one who is certain of the outcome and
one who can afford to wait and receive
without anxiety.

I have all the time that I need
and I am certain of the outcome,
so I will allow it to present itself
to me as it will, in due time,

as I have learned
to relax in peace and knowing.

Power vs. Force

In the United States, and in most developed nations, there is an intense obsession with the pursuit of and the acquisition of Power. Most individuals who crave this power, seek to obtain it through the use of Force.

In their minds, "Power" equals strength, control, respect, relevance, purpose, identity and wealth (riches). And "Force" is exercised and found in many forms: Violence, Manipulation, Deception, Destruction, Leverage (i.e. "Bribery and blackmail"), Crime, and Punishment, just to name a few.

But true power in the purest form, can only be achieved through compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, purpose, generosity and love. It is at best temporary and ultimately destroys the one seeking it.

When I reflect on the last decade of my life, I see a life where I somehow attracted three types of people. One group, were individuals who for one reason or another were "incomplete" and were attracted to my energy, wanting it for themselves ("drain people"). Another group, were individuals who have evolved and recognize this potential in me and thus committed to help nurture this in me (these people are still in my life today). And the last, are people who sought to exploit my power and manipulate it to their needs.

This last group, I have cut away from my life (funny enough, these people are still pursuing me today, because it takes a lot of inner strength to escape what would have destroyed you, and it has made their interest in me stronger).

It's funny: I can remember the very first time I ran into someone who sought the dark side of power. His name was Assan Kimara, and he is from Senegal, West Africa. Assan played a role in my parent's breakup and is a master at insinuating himself in people's lives and manipulating their emotions to his end. This was a very dangerous and powerful man, and he took an unnatural interest in me for as long as I've known him.

You see, I had the great misfortune of being the "first son" of my parents, and Assan used my brother and I to gain leverage with my parents. It's a long story-I'll spare you, let's just say he was successful in breaking my mother's heart and betraying my father.

I remember one time Assan demonstrated his power-during a Monopoly game of all things. We were playing, all adults and me, the sole child in the game. This guy accurately predicted not only what he would roll and buy, but what others would roll and buy. People in the game saw this as boastful jousting, but when his predictions were borne out, it turned to amazement and then something else.

Some part of me sensed it was a lesson, a demonstration of power on my behalf. I was always apprehensive when in his presence and thinking back on it, he probably knew this. For me, he was a dangerous and interesting person, one I chose to study, not worship. Everyone else was mesmerized-I was simply curious, and that made me a target...

Interesting enough, on my 16th birthday, just five years later, I played a game of Monopoly in just the same way he did: accurately predicting rolls, and purchases. I won, just as he did (my friends never played Monopoly with me again :(

Yeah, Assan, was the very first dark soul I encountered. Perhaps I'll share the story of how he tried to separate me from my family by having me spend a year with him in Senegal.

Regardless, I'm very fortunate to have come out of that period of my life unharmed, and since have had the great fortune of having some of the most generous soulful, spiritual people nurture me along the way. It is to these individuals I dedicate the following poem:

Shimmering with brilliance,
she gently tugs, caresses,
intoxicates one's very being.

She races across the path of the living,
leaving the spirits encountered,
trembling in her wake

All at once,
she excites the weak,
making one feel
as though all is possible

She frightens the strong,
making them drunk with sudden doubt,
as to the purpose of one's life

Hunters can not escape her beauty
Prey become vigorous in her wake
And evil becomes impotent

Like water, she cools and nourishes all who partake of her
Like the sun, she blinds all who dare attempt to understand her
Like the glowing embers of wood and fire,
she reminds us that simplicity can be comforting

She travels invisibly,
touching all those who despair
At the moment of death, like at birth,
she disguises herself, briefly, as peace

One can travel an entire lifetime
and be touched by her many times,
yet, still not know of her existence

She is patient, always waiting for one
to see that, indeed, she has always been there,
always been close by your side

She resides within the most empty of souls
She encompasses all living beings

One is truly wealthy
if one recognizes her presence
All is available to those who envision her

She is Love.

~ Lee Christopher Grant, 1992

Do not go gently into the night...

The visions are coming fast and furious now...Unwanted elements from the past and the present, being gracious enough to die right before my very heart. Nearly free, awaiting...awaiting things and experiences that resonate strongly with me and that are determined to bring me joy and pleasure. Making room for a most welcome guest in the house that is MY LIFE..

There is a woman from my past that now freely roams the dreamtime. Don't know what it means if anything-the purpose of our relationship- to save one another's life, was achieved and we now live completely different lives. I must admit, I have near burning curiosity as to how she is what she is doing and there is fear that I'll discover her life has been difficult. That would break my heart to know this. For me, it is a Pandora's box; there are things in this world best left unexplored, left alone. Ever fiber in my being tells me this qualifies.

I am that man, standing on the platform awaiting destiny's train, having finally gotten my "ticket" to board, paying the price of release and surrender...Yet there is one thing from the past I want to go back for, and to do so, means to lose my seat. Ludicrous. Unnerving. Sad...

Sad, because the person I knew and the person I was are dead; only the memories remain...And this is the hardest thing to cope with: to know that as people grow, some things remain and most things die. It is so odd...

Recently, my Mother spent 3 months in the hospital, having literally starved and drank herself to death. It was a gradual thing, and since her retirement earlier this year, no family member was privy to this. Being 62 and near death, it is a medical miracle she survived.

I remember in the early days of her hospital stay, looking at her and thinking "Who is this person? Where did the woman I knew as my Mother go?" And then I realized that the woman I knew as Mom left this world years ago and that what laid before me now was that 19-year old teenaged girl who recently lost the most important person on earth to her-her mother, and I could see the small part in her, struggling trying to decide if she wanted to leave and be with her mother or stay in this world a little longer. And I asked her: "Do you want to stay here? To continue living?" and her eyes locked onto mine, and for a brief moment I saw Her, and she gave it some thought, then replied: "Yes....yes...I...I think so...Maybe...maybe for a little while longer..." and I then pledged to her that we would do everything within our power to give her that chance. And that was when I knew, yesterday is forever gone and all of us only have right now and if we are especially blessed, the promise of a tomorrow or two...

My mother, the woman I knew, who knew me as only a parent raising a child could now, no longer travels the Earth. Einstein, Galileo and others they all missed it. We already time travel, and have been doing this for as long as man has experienced dreaming. My mother is living proof, having taken a trip all the way back to her years as a young woman...

Get on the train, chest up, shoulders square, eyes forward, embrace today. Tomorrow isn't here yet and yesterday was a lifetime ago...

"Our deepest fears is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking,
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were all meant to shine as children do.
It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others." -Mary Ann Williamson